I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis at the age of 26. For 9 years my MS was very mild, I was beginning to think I had been misdiagnosed. I was teaching Zumba up to 7 times a week and I was homeschooling my kids, trying to do it all until one morning my life changed forever. On the morning of August 24, 2011 four days before my 35th birthday I woke up feeling very off. My right arm and leg were very heavy and my coordination was not there. I drove my kids to school but when I got home my entire right side started to tingle and go numb. I called 911 thinking I was having a stroke.
It was determined that I was having an MS flare. In the ER my symptoms started to get worse. It was extremely hard for me to walk and my coordination on the right side of my body was no longer there. I couldn't even touch my nose with my finger.
As the weeks went on I did not improve, IV steroids helped a little but not enough. I was faced with a lifetime of disability and the loss of my independence at 35 years old . I could no longer teach Zumba and could no longer drive. I could barley get in and out of the shower or even take care of my kids. Then, the spasms started, seizure like spasms on my right side, that would happen every time I tried to stand or suddenly move. I began to feel so alone that I couldn't even feel God's presence anymore. I slipped into a deep depression and had a nervous breakdown. Crying day and night, I was terrified to be alone. Darkness consumed me.
I couldn't get out of bed anymore. In my head I would hear " you will never be the same". Like a broken record. It's as if my brain was stuck and I couldn't snap out of it no matter how hard I tried. I lost my appetite, food became tasteless and undesirable just as so much of my life had become. I truly felt like I was going insane and going to die.
My Neurologist at the time told me that I would not be able to walk unassisted in 5 years. It took many months of therapy, anti-depressants, and anxiety meds to pull out of it. I also clung to God with everything that I had and He delivered me.
These past 5 years have been a roller coaster of ups and downs but I am happy to say that I am still able to walk and about 90% recovered. I have taken great measures in taking care of myself. I have cut out all gluten, dairy, white sugar and red meat out of my diet. I am on about a gazillion supplements and now I listen to my body. During these 5 years my MS has improved but I have had some other issues come up like thyroid problems that has caused me to gain 30 lbs. I am also dealing with the aftermath of what comes with being chronicle ill. Like losing my confidence in many areas of my life, feeling like I take up space and that I am not relevant.
I am no longer the same person I once was, I don't look the same and I can't do some of the things I was able to do before. I've had to fight hard to regain my confidence. I have learned to love my body no mater what size I am. I learned how to dress this new body and in the process fell in love with fashion and the power it has to make you feel like a million bucks. I believe through tragedy and trials God teaches us the best lessons. We can either come out as gold or ash, I want to come out as gold.
I have found my purpose through all of this and that is to help women from all walks of life who are dealing with lost confidence due to chronic illness or whatever life has thrown at them. My passion is to help you feel relevant, beautiful, and confident again.